Newly obtained certified financial disclosure forms by senior White House advisers Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump show the couple has a “pattern of trouble with their filings,” a government watchdog group says. The watchdog Citizens…
Venezuela President: U.S. Invasion Would Be Worse Than…
After President Trump recognized the country’s opposition leader, contested Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro cautioned that any U.S. involvement could risk a crisis worse than Vietnam. What do you think?Read more...
Trump works “harder for the American people than…
President Donald Trump's executive assistant has come to the U.S. leader's defense following reports that the president dedicates the majority of his hours in the Oval Office to unstructured "executive time." "This POTUS is working…
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam holds urgent meeting with…
Virginia Governor Ralph Northam reportedly called for an urgent and unscheduled meeting with his top staffers on Sunday amid demands for his resignation over a racist photo in his medical school yearbook from 1984. After two days of…
Every Baby Boomer In Country Urged To Resign…
WASHINGTON—With pressure mounting on members of the generation to step down amid accusations of racism, sources confirmed every baby boomer in the United States had been urged to resign Monday after images surfaced in which…
7 Total Randos Found Dead
SEATTLE—Revealing that the victims’ deaths had come, like, completely out of nowhere, authorities confirmed Monday that seven total randos had been found dead. “All seven were discovered last night within a few miles of each…
Dad Heartbreakingly Thinks His Connections Can Help Son…
CLEVELAND—In a devastatingly sad overestimation of his influence in the professional world, local father Bruce Tenety, 54, expressed the heartbreaking belief Monday that his connections could help his son Justin, a recent college graduate, find…
Yosemite Closed Indefinitely After Bear Spotted In Park
YOSEMITE VILLAGE, CA—Claiming their responsibility to protect the lives of visitors and employees outweighs any potential inconvenience, officials announced Monday that Yosemite National Park would be closed indefinitely following a confirmed black bear sighting in…
Report: What’s A Pretty Lady Like You Doing…
THEONION.COM—Remarking with equal parts surprise and delight that of all the news stories in the world, you started reading this one, sources couldn’t help but wonder what a pretty little lady like you was doing…